Friday, April 27, 2012


Due to the death of the hard drive on my computer, I have not been able to write the blog.  Once I purchased my new HP Pavilion, I had some newbie issues to deal with. 
Royalty-Free (RF) Computer Clipart Illustration by gnurf - Stock Sample #209889 These help desk people from India are so hard to understand!  When I asked him to clarify himself, he would rudely say "you are not listening!" grrrrrr
After about fortyfive minutes, we fixed the computer and it was up and running.  

Later in the evening, the keyboard suddenly locked up and I could not type a thing.  This time I got a tech from Missouri and we worked out the problem in about five minutes!   

Then, yesterday my cell phone died.  Now I have a new computer and a Motorolla Droid Razor.  The Verizon people were over and above what one could expect from them.  I would recommend Verizon to anyone that would ask for my opinion.  

Looking that today's title, can you tell I am getting hungry?  There was a time in this journey that the thought of food made me sick. Now that John is getting better, my appetite is increasing.  I had lost twenty pounds prior to John's illness.  Since then, I have lost another six.  The challenge for both of us is going to be not eating ourselves to the before weight.  Both of us still need to lose more weight.  

The feeding tube was removed since he was consuming enough calories by mouth!  Another big step!  The consistency of the food started with pureed.  He is now eating regular food.  

The pneumonologist said that when John is on his feet he is to work up to walking thirty minutes a day.  Right now he is walking a 300 ft. / 100 yds.  I have yet to time how long that takes.  

2012-04-23_11-22-46_853.jpgPhysical therapy was his next bite of the elephant.  And just like the inchworm, he needed to strengthen his legs.   John started P.T. by "riding a bicycle"   He rode forward then backward.  Afterword, he worked on leg raises.  He is a real trouper.  I am so proud of him.  

The next day, he began to walk with assistance.  It was interesting to hear the therapist remind him to walk with his legs farther apart.  There was a tendency to cross a foot over then other when walking.  Going around a corner was a struggle at first.  Things we take forgranted, he had to relearn.  At this time, he is still on 
oxygen.  Yesterday, he walked to his bathroom on his own! He is now on P.T. twice a day.   

The doctors capped his breathing opening in his trach tube.  Now he is breathing just like you and me.  The trach should be removed Monday.  The trach fell out yesterday and John was doing great.  Then the doctor insisted that it be reinserted.  Now why would anyone want to put a patient through that discomfort of reinserting the tube.  

Well, that's the report for today.  The Critical Care Physician says that he sees no reason why John cannot go home next Friday!  And here on day one, I thought he would die.  

John's release will be six weeks that was estimated by the doctors when he arrived.  Hummmm, think that all your prayers have anything to do with his speedy recovery?  Thank you!

I wonder what miracles tomorrow are going to bring?????

God bless you all

Sunday, April 22, 2012


Yes, they rested that is just what John did yesterday.  He ate and he rested.  And I feel it was a good idea.  Daughter Holly came to visit and later Megan and Harper came for another visit.  

Poor Meg, she has never seen her capaw confused and tears come to her eyes as he was acting strange late in the afternoon. Actually, it was hard on me too.  It's like reasoning with a child.  I know this will not last, but when I am trying to convince John that he should not eat plastic, it's hard.  If I were not tired, I have a feeling that it would be a bit humorous.  Maybe I should document that with pictures....OH NO.

Actually, the next morning he can recall some of this confusion!  He tells the day nurses about it.  Many times all I need to say to him is "it is late afternoon and this is the time you get confused."  The light bulb comes on and he nods in reply.  

The realtor shows the house today, so I am home this morning to spiff up the floors, dust and sweep,  Then comes the mowing as soon  the dew is off the grass.  If I am lucky, I will be able to get to the hospital before he has confusion time this afternoon.    Right now, I'm just sitting here in my chair and chilling out.  I think it is decompression day.  

A friend and I were talking and she said we need to pray that the house sells by May 4.  If it does not and John is home, it may be mighty hard to get him out of the house every time they show the house.  Well, God knows what he is doing and, as a dear friend would say, I am going to FROG it.  FROG? I will fully rely on God!

Have a wonderful Sunday and God Bless 

Saturday, April 21, 2012


What you see here is an empty screen.  What does it mean?  John is off the ventilator!  No more breaths provided by a machine.  My man is doing it all on his own.  WOW!  And he is so relaxed!  No anxiety at all.  Just peaceful - and most of all thankful!  

Trachea Collar
Since he is off the vent. that means he has a trachea collar.  The collar has an opening for moisturized oxygen to flow into a small chamber.  The trach.  will be removed only when John can breathe natural air and maintain the oxygen level. 
Look inside the white bubble's opening.  That is a valve that allows John to talk.  When he speaks, little flaps open and close allowing air to pass as he breathes and closes as he talks.  Or is it vise versa? 

 This is determined by that little thingy that patients wear on their finger and is attached to the monitor that notes all vital signs.   Here you can see that his heart rate is eighty-nine.  The oxygen level is 98!  And the blood pressure is not being checked in this picture. 

Here is the happy man resting after being in a chair, having a physical  and occupational therapy sessions  all for a total of four hours! He sure looks good, doesn't he.  

Quite a change from this photo.  This was taken on day one immediately after being admitted to the Adult Intensive / Acute Care unit.  Day one was exactly four weeks to the date that he was taken off the ventilator.  

This has given John and I some food for thought.  We have advanced directives that state "no machines."  The physician in the Emergency Room informed us that this was a temporary measure, to give John's body time to heal from the trauma he experienced in respiratory failure.  We agreed to the intubation and ventilator with that understanding.  Our advanced directives will be changed to allow for such an incident.  Hopefully. this will never happen again.  

Real food was another big step for John.  He had steak, sweet potatoes, cauliflower, applesauce, iced tea and milk on his tray.  Can we say puree?   All served with a knife, fork and spoon.

The reaction to his first spoon of steak was SALTY!  We learned that is the reaction that everyone has after they have not had "solid" nutrition for weeks on end.  Those taste buds a very sensitive.  

Dinner consisted of pasta and spaghetti sauce - pureed.  John looked at me and said "this isn't like what we make."  I had to giggle.  He also had pureed mixed veggys.  He did not want to eat them, but almost finished his Italian dinner while we gave thanks that he was able to have food.  

It was a great day!  They said that he will be moved out of the intensive care area soon.  I am guessing tomorrow or Monday.  Of course when John heard "move," he assumed he was going to be moved home.  

We did set a goal of being out of there on or before May 4th, in time for grandson Ross' birthday party.  Oh what a celebration that would be!  You know, I truly think he will make it!  But if not, God is the blessed controller of all things.  

OK, this is probably too long already, so I will shower and head for Kindred Hospital once again.  Today, I take him a sport shirt, a bowl and some Quaker instant oatmeal.  All are requests from John and his wish is my least for a little while.  hehe  

God bless you all and thank you again for your best wished, your thoughts and your prayers.  I continue to give thanks for each and every one of you.   

Friday, April 20, 2012


Yesterday, I awoke early and was at the hospital by eight fifteen.  The physical therapist was there already giving John a good work out!  He had to hand pedal forward and backward for ten minutes each way.  The backward motion strengthens his back.  With the strength in his back, he will be able to push himself from a chair and get out of bed.  Both activities I would like to see soon and often.  

Don't you just LOVE his hair!  That is called no hair cut  in seven weeks.  His hair was matted in back and was impossible to comb out.  His entire do was just impossible.  He truly had bed head and I gave this boy a hair cut! 

After his hair cut, he remained in his chair and we played a Rummy game called Rummikube.  I have noticed that he has problems with small/fine muscle control in his hands and fingers.  Picking up the tiles, placing them in the tray's slots was hard work for him.  Playing the game also made him reason and plan moves.  

How do you think the elephant likes no hair on his tail?  

We played the game until the pulmonologist came to check on John's progress.  He had encouraging words for John.  The doctor wanted John to go to CPAP  (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) for the entire day.  If John passed this trial, he would then move forward to the trachea collar today.  As conservative as the doctor is and today being Friday, I have a feeling that he will change his mind and keep John on CPAP through the weekend.  

After the pulmonologist left, John continued sitting in chair until eleven thirty.  He then napped until one o'clock when the speech therapist came for her "quality time" with him.  The therapist gave him four swallowing exercises to do.  Here is one for you to try:  gently bite your tongue.  Holding you tongue between your teeth, swallow.  Not easy, is it....a little giggle here.  

Then came swallowing tests.  Liquids, pureed food and pudding tests were passed with flying colors.  The thick liquid, he failed, but not so miserably as he failed just a few days ago.  The pass or fail is determined by suctioning him after each test.  If anything returns in the suctioning, failure.  

John is to continue his swallowing exercises in order to pass all tests.  When he passes, he will begin eating people food and the tube will be removed from his nose.  

Later in the afternoon, John had surprise visitors.  I had met grand daughter Meg and great grand Harper at the front door of the hospital and walked in with them.  They had visited their capaw previously.  Meg asked me how was her capaw.  I told her that she should judge for herself.  Meg was so happy she cried!  All Harper wanted to do was pull that thing out of her Capaw's nose.  

By the time they left it was getting later in the day and John began to get squirrely.  He was trying to get out of bed etc.  After fussing at him a few times, I got the nurse to put the sides of the bed up and left.  The last thing I want to do is to fuss at him.  And it has been a long day at the hospital.  

Now, I am rested and ready to head back to the hospital.  Oliver and Olivia just informed me that they are out of food, so I must go purchase some from our local Speck's Pet Supply store, bring it home and feed the fur kids then head to the hospital.

A giant thank you for your prayers.  I feel God's presence in the hands of each specialist that works with John.  With God's presence they get so much more out of John than I could ever imagine.  They also are pleased.  

John has two goals to reach.  One is to be able to go to grandson's birthday party on May 5th.  Now that is a stretch!  That is only two weeks!  It would be considered a miracle!  But God can make it happen if that is in His plan.  If not, Harper's first birthday party is May 22nd. or right around there. That is his forecasted release date - so says insurance company. 

To say thank you all for your prayers in our behalf seems so little.  I wish I could just give each of you a hug and a big smile.  But, right now, it is impossible.  So I will do something better.  I will pray for each and every one of you.  I know some of your needs.  Other's I have no idea, but God does, so I'll let Him handle how he works in your lives. (isn't that big of me.....hehe)

Again, God bless...

Wednesday, April 18, 2012


Most of yesterday was spent working with Cruz and getting the house ready for a showing so I arrived at the hospital around six p.m.  When I arrived, they told me that John was having a bad day.  He had tons of secretions and needed to be suctioned constantly.  

When I walked into his room and looked at the monitors his heart rate was one hundred twenty and his respirations were forty three breaths per minute.  You would think he was running in the Indianapolis Five Hundred Festival Mini Marathon!  To say he was anxious would be an understatement.  His blood pressure was 178.  

The entire time I was there that is where his numbers lingered.  By the time the night shift came in, I did a bit of shaking and moving.  They gave John meds for his anxiety.  Then John insisted that I leave.  

Before I left, I turned on the TV.  Normally, we do not watch much television, but I knew the one show he really enjoys is NCIS, so I turned on that station and left him to the care of his male nurse.  I was not anxious leaving him.

Today, has been a total turn around.  When I walked into his room, he was sleeping peacefully.  I was a bit late due to a hair cut and eye exam.  Living a normal life with normal appointments are hard.  I am always wondering what is happening, but also I know that they have my cell number if anything should arise.

The news I was greeted with was a "joyful noise."  Physical Therapy was in earlier and had John standing and he sat in his chair for an hour.  P.T said they were surprised at the strength John had in his legs.  He had no trouble standing on his own and turning to sit.  

The speech therapist came in for a second session for today.  She deflated the "balloon" on John's air tube and he just started talking away!  She began asking him questions and John would answer.  Then she asked him to recite the Pledge of Allegiance to see if he could talk using long sentences.  He did it and I got goose bumps.  

John's fine motor skills have been literally "gone."  She handed him a clip board and told him to write his name.  Each time he has previously tried to write, it looked like and EKG, but today, he clearly wrote his name.  

Now he is resting.  Sleeping like a baby after an exciting, busy, successful day.  

Thank you all for your best wishes, your prayers and encouragement.  I know that today's progress is a direct result of all
your efforts.  

I know that tomorrow, I may walk in here and he might have a bad day.  But I am not counting on it.  I expect that God is going to bless us with another super day of healing as we look forward to our Journey!  

If you would like to see the results of all John's work, do a Google search on 6340 North 75 West, Whiteland, IN and take a gander.

Again, Thank you, thank you, thank you.

God's blessings to each of you.  

Monday, April 16, 2012


It seems that the last thirty six hours have been a mountain high, then a valley low.  Oh my, what a ride.  I do not recommend it to the faint of heart.  Actually, I just don't recommend it.

I consider myself to be strong.  I feel that I am leaning on Gods arm, but wow, what a time this has been.  It started yesterday just after noon.  Dear friends from Michigan, Bob and Deb Cline from Maple Row Sheep and Wool, despite the high cost of fuel drove three and a half hours to visit with John and to help me with a few unfinished, outside projects..

Cartoon Gardener Attacked By Weeds - Royalty Free Clipart PictureBob sprayed the drive.  You do know that you are a red-neck when you have to mow your drive, don't you?  In addition to the drive, he sprayed weeds all over the place!  The walks, the patios, the drive,  geesh anyone want a weed?  Bob said that I would see the wilt in the weeds Tuesday.  That is tomorrow!  Oh happy day!  

Then he removed the fencing we had for Oliver and Olivia.  Wow!  That sure opened the lawn!  Now I can see why it was recommended by our Realtor that we take the fence down.  The view just stretches on and on showing the beauty of the the "back forty"...*just kidding about the forty.  But when you can look out over a half mile, it seems really large.    If you want to know how large, just come cut it for me! lol  That is what I did after leaving the hospital.    

Another task accomplished was the plumbing of the patio pond.  Bob installed the new pump.  All I need to do is add the water and electricity and voila!  A fresh water feature.  Hopefully, I will have a picture for you tomorrow.    

Bob and Deb were the high. 

...some of the everyday life in the intensive care unit is the low.  

Last night,  around eleven o'clock  I received a telephone call from the hospital - John's nurse.  She tells me that it is regulation that she call to tell me that John has pulled his feeding tube from his nose and she will need to insert another. I understand that regulation.  

What I do not understand is why she feels that she needs to tell me that he was covered with the feeding supplement in addition to the sheets, pillow and blanket.  

When I left John's room, he was comfortable. Things were as normal as could be with a feeding tube, a respirator, a heart monitor responding to the slightest change.  It is amazing what one can adjust to as "normal".  

I returned to John's room this morning to find him extremely anxious.  He was vomiting and having a difficult time breathing.  The nurse was scurrying around trying to make him comfortable.  The respiratory therapist was suctioning.  John was uncomfortable and feeling insecure.  I was feeling helpless. Trying to remain calm, and reassuring John that all was going to be OK.   

After the  Antivan, the suctioning, medication to stop the nausea John was more calm and peaceful --- for a while.  Then the nausea returned.  His vomit contained the nutrition that supposed to be tubed into his small intestine!  

Calling this to the nurse's attention, she discovered the tube that was supposed to be in the small intestine was not even in the stomach.  It had been inserted only about seven inches into his esophagus leaving the possibility of aspiration that could develop into pneumonia.  

A new tube was inserted into his small intestine with X-rays to verify the placement.  John was greatly improved once the mistakes were corrected.  We spent the rest of the morning and afternoon in relative peace.  

Have you heard of a even called Sundowner's?  I have heard of it in relation to Alzhimer's and other diseases.  I am wondering if this is what is effecting John.  

He pulled the tube out last night.  I just received a telephone call from tonight's nurse.  John tried to get out of bed tonight.  Now, I feel that it is either my absence that creates these problems or it might be Sundowner's or could it be boredom?  

I do not know what it is, but it is frustrating!  

NOW......all is quiet.  I have called my "super shrink"  daughter in California and cried on her shoulder.  I have  asked God to make things right and to give me wisdom.  I have received the assurance that He walks with me.  

I am tired.  I go to bed knowing that all my sisters and brothers in Christ will hold me up when I am too weak to hold myself.  

Let's be sure to hold up all our blog friends that are sick in prayer.  Judy from Travels With Emma is having a hard time.  I have not seen her post in a day or two.  Jim Dixon, Sherry who is awaiting a lung transplant, Marilyn who is recovering from cancer.  The list goes on, I am sure.  

God bless each of you tonight.  May he surround you with his loving arms and give you peace, comfort and health! 


Saturday, April 14, 2012


This was sent to me from Marilyn McMillan....who has finished breast cancer treatment and is in the recovery phase.  I cannot say any more than what she shared with me today.  

Read this and take it to heart!  

 "Trust ME and don't be afraid.  Many things feel out of control.  Your routines are not running smoothly.  You tend to feel more secure when your life is predictable.  Let ME lead you to the rock that is higher than you and your circumstances.  Take refuge in the shelter of My wings, where you are absolutely secure.  When you are shaken out of your comfortable routines, grip My hand tightly and look for growth opportunities.  Instead of bemoaning the loss of your comfort, accept the challenge of something new.  I lead you on from glory to glory, making you fit for My kingdom.  Say yes to the ways I work in your life.  Trust ME, and don't be afraid."  "Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid.  The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation."  Isaiah 12:2 "From the ends of the earth I call to You, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.  For You have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe, I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings."  Psalm 61:2-4

I really, really love my blogger friends!  


This was sent to me from Marilyn McMillan....who has finished breast cancer treatment and is in the recovery phase.  I cannot say any more than what she shared with me today.  

Read this and take it to heart!  

 "Trust ME and don't be afraid.  Many things feel out of control.  Your routines are not running smoothly.  You tend to feel more secure when your life is predictable.  Let ME lead you to the rock that is higher than you and your circumstances.  Take refuge in the shelter of My wings, where you are absolutely secure.  When you are shaken out of your comfortable routines, grip My hand tightly and look for growth opportunities.  Instead of bemoaning the loss of your comfort, accept the challenge of something new.  I lead you on from glory to glory, making you fit for My kingdom.  Say yes to the ways I work in your life.  Trust ME, and don't be afraid."  "Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid.  The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation."  Isaiah 12:2 "From the ends of the earth I call to You, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.  For You have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe, I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings."  Psalm 61:2-4

I really, really love my blogger friends!  


I am sitting here at John's  bedside watching him sleep.  He may have been awake ten minutes in the four hours I have been here.  Once, when he opened his eyes, I told him I thought I'd go home and he looked so stricken.  I then asked "do you want me to stay?"  Yep, he did.  

But, I have decided as he continues to sleep, that I am going home and taking a nap.  He is fine.  He is in good hands.  It's time for me to get some much needed rest.  

Now that was a short report, wasn't it!

If you are not readers of the Where Are the Dixon's Today, I ask you all to pray for Jim.  He has just been diagnosed with lung cancer.  My heart goes out to Sandy and Jim.  Please hold them up in prayer as you have fought for John and I.  

God Bless you safe out there....

Friday, April 13, 2012


Possibly, I have become an inchworm with my posting.  I am sorry that I have concerned many of you.  Fatigue has captured me, taken me by the throat and tried to strangle me.  BUT! ! !  The fatigue is a result of no more heavy sedation.  

As John began to come out of the sedation, my work began.  He was so confused.  Was not sure why he was there and had no memory of the past two and a half weeks.  He did not want me out of his sight. 

His eyes were clear and there was someone in there!  Of course, with the trach, he was unable to speak.  He would "talk" (moving his mouth), but we had no comprehension as to what he was saying.  I could and still can just occasionally figure out what he is trying to say.

His sense of humor and gentle personality shines through his confusion.  He cracks everyone up with his shrugs and facial expressions.  But when people are gone there are tears and fear.  

They performed a trach collar trial.  He was able to breathe on his own for a short while then his heart rate went up as well as respirations and blood pressure.  Immediately, he was returned to the ventilator, returned to bed to rest for the rest of the day and through the night only to awake with a temperature of 102.  More antibiotics and rest and by the afternoon his temperature had returned to normal.  

The day following his "awakening" the physical therapist came in and sat him on the side of the bed.  John LOVED  it.  He did not want to get back in bed and sat in his chair for a short time.  

When it came time for me to leave, John grew extremely agitated and let me know, even without words that he did not want me to leave.  Again, I slept in a chair, wrapped in a blanket, head on pillow against the wall and my feet in his bed touching his feet.  He continues to cough white watery secretions that need to constantly be suctioned.  He does not get much sleep.  I get none.  

The next day he sat on the side of the bed, stood with considerable support from the physical therapist, turned and sat in his chair. He was scheduled to be moved to Kindred Hospital, a long term acute care hospital just ten minutes from our home.  But that was not in God's plan book.  John's white cell count sky rocketed, indicating an infection someplace in his body.  The decision was made to remove the pick line from his right arm and to install a central line.  This was accomplished with no complications.  

John also had considerable swelling in his left arm and hand.  Oh, oh.  A blood clot?  An ultrasound was scheduled on his arm and neck.  This was all clear.  

Feeling that John was very stable and I was a walking zombie, I told John that I had to go home to get some sleep.  He again became agitated, but his nurse stepped in and assured John that she would be there for him all night.  She told him that she had only two patients to care for.  One was John and the other was in the next room and very stable, so she could spend quality time with him.  Reluctantly, John said goodnight to me and I stumbled to the parking garage and home.  I walked into the house, took the dogs out to take care of their business, crawled into bed and slept soundly, straight through to seven the next morning. When I awoke I was in a stupor for about three hours.  

After a quick shower, "watering" the dogs, I was off to the hospital, I thought.  First, I could not find my keys, then I remembered to get my wallet, then where were those keys?????  Darn.....  Oh, here they are!  Off to the hospital.  

The move to Kindred was rescheduled.  Now he was to move Wednesday.  Dr. Duncan did not like the events of the day and cancelled the transfer.

In the parking garage, I gather my wallet.  Where is that wallet?????
I feel all around the seat, the floor, the wallet.  When trying to find the keys, I laid down the wallet.  When I found the keys, I left for the hospital.  Oh oh....

When exit time came, I was told to explain my plight to the cashier and he/she would give me an envelope to mail my fee.  Not that simple.....nope.....the nasty lady was quite aggravated, told me to go park and she was calling the campus police!  (Indiana University Medical Center and IUPUI).  

I quietly slink over to an empty parking spot, get out my cell phone to text my plight to a friend and I wait, and wait.  I wait until I am totally absorbed in my texting and I suddenly hear through my open window this deep voice behind me.  I scream!  (I am easily startled) I scream like a banshee!  Scare the poor campus policeman and am totally embarrassed.  

He says no problem.  He fills out a couple of papers, taking my license plate number, asking for my drivers license number (who knows their drivers license number?  Not me!  And my license is in my wallet which is someplace at home where I laid it while looking for my "lost" keys.  Do you get the mental status of this sleep deprived basket case?   Ahhhh, he says, no problem.  He takes the written information to the cashier, returns to my car, (I'm watching his movements so I do not repeat the screaming female act again) and tells me to go back to the exit and the cashier will let me through.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and reluctantly allows me to leave if I will sign my life away and take an envelope to pay my pitiful parking fee of $5.00.    Oh happy day!

Geezzzz, this is getting long!  

Thursday morning I sleep in to the extremely late hour of 7:30.  Upon awakening, I make the bed, straighten the bedroom, sweep all carpeting, dust all hardwood floors, water the dogs, take my shower, brush my teeth and answer my phone......John is being transferred today!  Whew....I tell them to tell John that I will meet him at Kindred, his new place of residence and recovery.  

I was able to tour Kindred prior to John's arrival, make a quick Starbucks run and return to the hospital in time to station myself at the back of Kindred, at the ambulance entrance to photograph John's arrival.  I felt like a child waiting for Santa's sleigh to come into view!   (I am so sure he is going to treasure my photo journaling his entire experience! eh hem!) 

After he is in his room and we are just adjusting to the new place, John looks at me and says  "what happened to me?"  "Why am I here?"  Oh my, what do I say..??????  He had no memory of two days prior to his respiratory failure..........two days......that is three weeks lost!  I told him the truth....every stinking bit of the truth.  

Then I told him about all the bloggers that were praying for him, the prayers of  his / our family, friends and total strangers all over the world!  God is so good to place you all to intercede for John and for me.  Thank you, thank you from both of us.  

When it was time for me to leave, again, John did not want me to go.  I told him I just had to and finally he was kind of OK with the situation.  

Today, I refreshed the house for "show and sell" and then returned to the hospital.  Wow, a ten minute drive!  That sure beats forty five  minutes!    I was able to return home for lunch! (money saved)  

I took my spinning wheel and was able to spin as John tried to rest.  Tried is the key word.  He is very anxious.  He is unable to sleep, to rest and is totally exhausted.  And this is announcing my prayer request.  Please pray that John sleeps soundly tonight and every night in the future.  Also that he relaxes and is not so apprehensive.

All his physical, speech, occupational, respiratory therapies are a prayer concern.  In order for him to eat real food and get that nasty tube out of his nose, he must pass his speech therapy tests/trials.  He needs to be totally rested in order to have successful physical and occupational sessions on Monday.  And to be able to breathe on his own, the clear secretions must dry up in order that he not cough so much.  Those coughing times sap all of his strength.  

Well, this brings you up to date.  I am sure I have missed events.  If so, and if they are important, I will blog them later.  For now, I will "water" the dogs one more time, then head to bed.  Tomorrow is another day to witness God's power in John life and health!  To God be the glory for all He has done.

God bless you and keep you.  May he put a hedge of his love around you and give each of you peace and strength.  

We love you all!  

Monday, April 9, 2012


Yesterday was a hard day for me.  I know, this illness is not about me, but I sure lost focus.  I had not been listening to the encouragement to take care of myself, get some rest, etc., etc.  It came to bite me in the tush......hard....ouch!

The meltdown started prior to leaving for the hospital.  I didn't want to go!  I procrastinated until I felt so guilty, sooo.....I drove and cried all the way. The tears did not stop when I arrived in John's room....He was still sedated and did not respond to me.  The nurse said his responses to them were appropriate and I should not be concerned. I was concerned....who trusts medical professionals anyway ( a wee joke there).  More meltdown.  geesh....

I decided to drive over to our daughter's home and talk to her.  She is a physician and I hoped that she could give me a  doctor/daughter perspective.  And she did.  

I  cannot count the number of times I have heard, Holly, nurses, respiratory therapists,  his physician, all say that this is going to be a loooooong recovery. There is that Inchworm again!   But last night, talking to Holly I finally let go and let God be the Physician in charge.  

Sometimes I feel like a little child who takes a broken toy to her dad to be fixed and keeps telling him how to repair it and how fast to do it.  

Enough of me.  

As I arrived in John's room, he was sitting in the Cardiac Chair!  He was doing great!  He responded to my questions with a nod or a shake of the head.  He even tried to talk.  I would call that two bites of the elephant.  Whew.... two down and a zillion to go.  

Now he is taking a nap, or should be at least.  Right now his eyes are open and looking around as he listens to some music.  Betty, a blogger friend emailed the song In Christ Alone to us.  It just finished and I asked John if he liked it.  He nodded and it is playing for the second time.  Hey Betty, Thanks so much for this.  

We are awaiting Dr. Duncan.  I am eager to hear today's assessment.
That Inchworm and Elephant are waiting too!

In the meantime, Be safe out there on the road and your activities and God Bless!

Sunday, April 8, 2012


Resurrection Sunday.  Once it was called Easter.  That was before the merchants got hold of it as another marketing ploy.  

When my parents took me shopping for my "Easter outfit,"  they made it perfectly clear that the reason for the new dress, shoes etc. was to signify a new beginning, new life, new life as a gift from God.  They made it clear that Christ Jesus was born to die for our / my sins and he died willingly in order that I might live forever with Him.  Every time I wore the dress, I remembered that life changing lesson.

I am so thankful for those lessons.  Yes, if we (John and I) were not Christians, we would experience the same crisis.  But we / I would not have the peace that fills me today and every day John has been sick.

Speaking of da man.....Today he was placed in a cardiac chair. A cardiac chair is similar to a recliner.  It can be placed in a reclining position or the patient can sit up.  It was designed for patients with cardiac and respiratory illness.  

It will take some of the pressure off the lungs and they say will make breathing easier.  Right now, the breathing is a bit ragged.  He is upset due to the change.  I assume that he feels insecure in this new setting.  It is hard to know what or how he is feeling since he cannot talk.  But, this is another baby step on our journey.  

Some times I talk to him and it seems he cannot hear or maybe comprehend.  Yet when I asked him if he was ready to get into the motorhome and head for Anza Borrego State Park in California, he tried to get up!  At least I know what his motivation will be.  And you can count on it that I will use this to our full advantage. 

At the same time I remember how to eat an elephant...........

One bite at a time!

Today, I think of an Inchworm.  They move very slowly .... just like John's progress.  And if you KNOW John we would almost say that is the way he moves!  In the last few months, I've been calling him turtle.  Not to be mean, but a sweet tease.  

Some friends and family do not realize that they can leave comments.  Just click on comments and it will take you to the right spot!

God bless you all, be safe out there.

Saturday, April 7, 2012


We had another showing this morning, so I slept in a little - till about eight o'clock, made a delish cuppa hot chocolate.  Hot chocolate is one of my comfort "foods."  After the hot chocolate, I dusted the hardwood floors, swept the carpeting, and "watered" the fur kids.

By the time I had finished all that, it was time for me to skedaddle.  Dan Nichols, our realtor, drove in.  We chatted, then I was off to the hospital.

After yesterdays emotional bump, I come into John's room and find him looking much better.  They have him elevated a bit more and his eyes were just at half mast rather than closed.  He responded to me when I came into the room.

Since I have been here, they now have him on a trachea collar trial.  When wearing the trachea collar, he is totally breathing on his own.  They provide moisturised oxygen to help him.  HE IS NO LONGER ON THE VENT! But,  they will put him back on the vent just to give him some rest.  geeezzzzzzz  as I write this they are in here to give him his rest time.  

Since he has been on the collar, he has been coughing as a reaction to the different feeling in his throat.  The respiratory therapist has taught me how to suction the secretions and I actually feel like I am helping. 

Back on the house topic,  Dan / realtor called and asked how soon following closing would I be willing to give possession of house to the buyer.  oh, oh....this may be getting serious!  I may be living in our Winnebago sooner than I thought!  And I think I am going to get a power of attorney.  

Enough for today....or at least that's all for now.

God Bless you and may this Easter / Resurrection Sunday bring you hope, joy and peace.  And I will add thankfulness.  Thankful for Christ's birth, death, Resurrection and eternal life.   

Friday, April 6, 2012


By trying to post about gas prices.  I am a failure....a total flop.  But so are the prices of gas and O - Bummers leadership.  You can see for yourself why gas prices differ.  Maybe we should plan our trips through states with the best (for us) gasoline taxes.  

Today was a total bummer.  It did not start out that way.  I was able to sleep until eight o'clock and when I awoke, I "thought" I felt rested.  

I dressed and took Oliver and Olivia outside to do their business.  Suddenly, I was one total grouch!  Fussing at the dogs.....come on girlie!  But that's just what I did and I'm not proud of myself.

I ran the vacuum, dusted the hardwood floors and spiffed up the house for the scheduled showing.  

I arrived at the hospital to find that the young lady in the room next to John had passed away.  She and John were the two longest residents of the ICU.  It broke my heart for this young woman's family.  What a way to start a day.  

Then I learned that John had been running a temperature of one hundred two degrees.  He had been scheduled for the insertion of a central line instead of his existing pic line.  And he was again heavily sedated.  

What else could go wrong?  Oh God, I need your peace and assurance!

It has been a long, long day.  John has been heavily sedated all day.  Not once did he open his eyes (even if they were vacant) and look into mine.  Not once did he squeeze my hand.  Not once did he nod yes or move his head to say no.  They say this is a minor setback.  But it makes me so sad.  

I have not heard his voice in two weeks.  Oh how I long to hear him speak just one word.  Any word.  

We are supposed to be in Anza Borrego with our daughter and friends, not in an intensive care unit.  

I know there are many who are much worse off than John.  But I miss him.  I miss his tenderness, his soft blue eyes, his ever kind words and thoughtfulness.  

Tonight, my heart aches.  

BUT, I know that God is in control,  God Reigns!  And I trust Him with my life and John's.  

Yes, my heart aches to talk to John, to look into eyes that there is "someone in there." But God reigns.

It is amazing that all this happens during a Christian's Holy Week.  This is what it is all about.  

Christ came as a miracle.

He lived a life be an example...

He died for each of us.....the paid the penalty for our sins - large or small

He arose - defeated death - so that we can live forever - have eternal life.  

It is so simple that some do not understand that all we have to do is say thank you Jesus....come into my life...take over.

He will do just that.

And then when the time come for life here on earth....we go to be with Him.....and guess what.....each of us will meet and recognize each other....

Now that is a miracle....

That is love.....

That is living "happily ever after"  

I hope that when my time comes, that I will meet YOU....face to face at the feet of our Christ Jesus....

God bless YOU!  And your travels.  

Wednesday, April 4, 2012


I just cannot wait until tomorrow morning to post this on the blog!  

JOHN IS BREATHING ON HIS OWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  God, through the hands of the Doctors, nursing personnel and that Trach did the trick!  The respiratiory therapist came in about an hour ago and turn the ventilator off and John just kept a breathing!  

I want to go out in the hall and do the happy dance!  

They said that he will go back on the vent tonight just to give him some rest after all this exercise.  Tomorrow, they will wake him up totally and we will then see how he breathes. 

There is a step by step program that he will need to go through in order to fully be breathing on his own without the trach.  I was really jumping the gun when I thought I'd be able to hear his voice soon.  He is going to need to write love notes first.  That is fine with me as long as he is around to bug me!  

There is a Christian song that Andre Crouch wrote and a friend, Keith Brown, sang the first time I heard it.  The name of the song is To God Be The Glory.  Really it is My Tribute, but the prior seems to be the way the song is known.  

These are the lyrics and they express what is on my heart this afternoon.  As we approach the Easter celebration, this song is not appropriate for my joy today, but for the joy all Christians feel for what He has done.  I hope you enjoy the song.

to listen to this song follow this link - 


The trach is done!  John is sleeping peacefully and I am yawning!  It is so nice to see his entire face again.   

The doctor was just in and they are going to keep him sedated for a bit.  John is still on the vent, and will be weaned slowly.  Supposedly, this will be an easier transition for him.  He will possibly leave intensive care in as little as a couple of days.  

I am so ready to hear is voice again.  He can even fuss at me if he chooses.  Since fussing is such a rare occasion with him, I'm really not too worried.  

I am so eager to tell him that the house work is done and it is on the market!  I am sure that will speed his recovery.  

Thank you all for your concern and prayers for both John and I.  I feel the presence of God as I walk this journey.  

God bless each of you and safe travels to you that are on the road today.   

Tuesday, April 3, 2012


The house went on the market thirty six hours ago.  One showing this evening and now they want to come back for a second look-see.  Oh my! 

Another showing scheduled for tomorrow, Oh my!  

Do you remember the great movie with Sandra Bullock - While You Were Sleeping?  Well I suddenly have visions of John waking up and being able to communicate.  I stand at the side of his bed and say
"dear, while YOU were sleeping, I went ahead and signed the contract to put our house on the market......then I sold the you are going to be coming home to your beloved motorhome!"  

Oh my, what a dream!  But keep in mind.... God is the one in control!  

Blessings to all!    N


"Lions, tigers and bears, oh my"  .....  Why has that come to my mind?  Most likely because of all the things I THOUGHT were worrisome.  Boy, life can take on new perspective quickly, can't it.  

John is scheduled for a minor surgery tomorrow.  He just does not do well when they try to remove the breathing tube (extubation).  They are going to perform a tracheotomy and then do a bronchoscopy to access if any damage has been done as a result of the intubation.

Your prayers are so appreciated.  Daily, I feel the "peace that passes all understanding" and can only come from God.  And this is all happening during this Holy week.  Because of Christ's death and his defeating death in the resurrection this peace can be experienced.  

Tomorrow, I will try to let everyone know the results of these procedures.

Be safe out there my friends and God bless!

Sunday, April 1, 2012


I was up at the ungodly hour of five this morning.  Since I keep missing the doctors, I felt that I needed to shower and be at the hospital by seven o'clock.  And I was right.  

I drove through a thundershower accompanied with fog and an unbelievable lack of visibility.  Choosing to forgo  Interstate 65 into Indy, I took a much less, but much darker route this morning.  It was a bit nerve racking, but I made it.  And I beat the doc!

Being a resident, she did not have much to say, but I just felt better knowing that she was on top of the situation.  The "big doc" was in later.  

They turned off the ventilator, but left John intubated.  For a while, John was breathing normally, but just like last time, the longer he went, the harder it was for him to breathe.  They finally turned the vent back on, sedated him again and said they will try again tomorrow.

On a positive note,  when John is not so heavily sedated he can purposefully respond to commands and questions.  For that, I am very thankful.  

I did ask him if he was ready to leave for Joshua Tree Nation Park and he nodded an emphatic YES!  

The other event of the day ....... when I drove down the road to our place, there was a for sale sign in the front yard!  Oh my, it all is happening at one time!  Wouldn't it be super if John came home from the hospital to a SOLD sign!  Now that is a dream!  

Tomorrow, I'm up again at that ungodly hour of five and heading to the hospital.  We will see what God has in store for us then.  

Thanks so much for all your encouraging words, good wishes and especially your prayers.  

I still can say that God is Good.  His timing is perfect.  

May He bless each and every one of you during this Holy Week.